It's not unusual for people to tell me they feel discouraged, or feel like they've failed, if they find themselves struggling with something that they thought they had dealt with and put to rest. I don't consider this a failure at all. I think that as we face new experiences, developmental phases, or challenges in our lives, new versions of old issues will present themselves. This is NOT a step backward. It's all part of moving forward. (PS: who am I to disagree with Margaret Thatcher, but I wouldn't say that it's about "winning" at all. Perhaps accomplishing? Working through? Moving ahead? I just don't think it's a win/lose experience). In any case, I think it's important to EXPECT to re-visit significant life issues at different points along our paths. Each time, however, we do it from a different perspective. ~ RS
I love this. I regularly hear people describe feeling discouraged or disheartened by how long they think it will take to reach a goal. But look at it from another perspective: Time is going to go by anyway, whether you work toward your goal or not. And at the end, either you'll have accomplished the goals you wanted... Or you won't even have tried! ~~RS
I often talk to people who think
about change and wish
things were different, yet they don't actually do
anything differently, so nothing really changes. Sometimes the barrier is in not knowing where to start, or fearing that they'll fail in their efforts. Often, what someone imagines
they'll have to do is so overwhelming that they don't even start trying. At PBH, we can help you find some manageable, achievable steps to take -- and the confidence -- to embark on a path toward real, meaningful change. No, it may not be easy, and it's not always comfortable. But chances are, you'll look back and feel so proud that you mustered up your courage and stepped out of your comfort zone. And we'll be with you all along the way! ~RS
Bad things happen. Life brings us annoyances, losses, troubles. But instead of feeling like a target, or a victim of fate, try to turn your thinking around. What can you learn? How can you grow from this? Some people say that everything happens for a reason. I can't say whether this is true. But I do believe that we can learn from everything that happens. "Every moment is the guru." ~RS
Here's a challenge: Every day, make an active effort to look for at least one thing in your life that you feel grateful for. It doesn't have to be something earth-shattering. Maybe you had a really great cup of coffee and a moment of peace and quiet to start your day. Maybe you got to see a hummingbird in your garden. Maybe a colleague offered to help out with a project you've fallen behind on. The point is to try to pay attention to those things that you appreciate, or that bring you joy. This can help to shift away from focusing on more negative experiences, and can have a positive impact on your overall mood and well-being. Give it a try and see what happens!
All too often, we allow our well-being to be determined by our outside circumstances and experiences. We feel frustrated because we want more than we have. We feel sad or dissatisfied about what we don't have or what we lost . We worry about what tomorrow will bring. We regret what we did yesterday. We forget that our experiences do not define us, and they don't determine our mood.
Learning mindfulness skills is one way to help with this. Mindfulness
combines acceptancewithout judgment
of our life's experiences with a focus on being present in the here-and-now
. It contributes to enhanced happiness by teaching us to savor life's pleasures as they occur and to become more engaged in our activities and relationships.